Ok, so it’s been a rather rough week with me trying to play SUPERWOMAN. It’s probably time to accept and acknowledge that I need help. My 2 month old is a handful and as much as I would like to do everything for her, by myself, sometimes it does get tough and beyond me.
What’s with some moms (like me) not wanting to seek help/ advise from others? Are we possessive? Or are we just tired of all the extra advise that comes our way even without asking? It’s the later for me. C’mon, I know it’s all nice and useful and people mean well but that’s not what I want to discuss ALL of my waking hours. Sometimes I want to hear about work, office, movies, travel, fashion…sigh!
While I am reluctant to reach out to others for help my own expectations from my husband keeping increasing. I know I am being unfair at times. He works 12 hours a day and I cannot expect him to be available for small talk all the time, can I? I asked him directly and he said “That sounds fair…”.
So what is it that I am cribbing about? Well, honestly, I don’t know. I can blame it on post partum depression but I am craving for his attention…a lot of it, honestly. I want him to sympathize with me (more), I want him to spend (more) time with me, I want to be able to quickly grab my jacket and dash out of the door (with him) like before…but I can’t and that makes me sad. Do I not love my baby enough to let go off such things for a while? I do but who am I kidding…I miss my freedom.